The impending question on the minds of the sexually active is “how do I improve my sex life”, and the answer to such a broad question has many answers. While there are a plethora of suggestions any sex expert or educator can give to the inquiring, the first step in moving towards improvement begins with a transformation of mindset in one’s thinking about sex. See, the average person believes that sexual skill is an innate quality that magically turns on during puberty and gives you all the right moves and tricks to be a champion lover when sexual desire arises, but unfortunately that’s far from the truth. In fact, sexual desire is natural and having great sex is a natural birthright, but one must learn how to have great sex by learning what works for them and how to implement these skills. Sex lives don’t come out of the box fully equipped and ready to go. Couples must work together in knowing what works for their dynamic and what also works for each individual within the union. In order to fix up your sex life, you have to create a sex menu. You have to create a sex life that fits your lifestyle, your preferences and your freak level. So how do you begin to create this sex menu?
Pinpoint what turns you on
It’s time to do some exploration and experimentation with what turns you on and gets your sexual energy flowing. A major component of discovering these things is communication. Partners take the time to check in with each other daily on day-to-day happenings, but it isn’t often that sex is a normal part of daily conversation. Make the time in your schedule to have casual talks about sex to learn about what makes you and your partner tick. Don’t just assume that you know. Creating lists of turn on’s, turn offs and desired fantasies or changes in sexual technique can be made as a way to make communication about these points easier. Keep the conversation light, fun and engaging.
Explore your fantasies
After you determine what your desires are, explore your fantasies. What sexy scenarios have you dreamed up in your mind? After you share your desires with your partner it’s time to have fun in exploration. Release your inhibitions and live out the sexual scenarios you’ve dreamed of. Carve out time in your schedule weekly for an hour of erotic play and turn your sex life from mundane to magnificent. Use props, have sex in new places, add new positions into the mix or even food. The possibilities are endless.
Take field trips to the adult store
Building your sex menu requires tools of the trade, and there is no better place to look for tools to customize your sexual experiences than an adult store. Take a trip to your local sex shop that has a variety of sex toys, lubricants, accessories, furniture, films and lingerie selections to bring your fantasies into reality. Make a list of the things you would like to add to your collection of erotic play things and make a commitment to purchase one or two accessories to begin your little black box. Always remember to have fun during this time of educating yourself about the vast world of sexual play.
Your sexual desires will change as you become older and exposed to different forms of sexual expression. Welcome these changes with open arms and add them to your sex menu as options. You can never have too many. Happy Exploration 🙂